"Stupid" and Accountability

When I picked Laci up today, her teacher told me that she had a good day, but...  When Laci heard the "but", she ran out of the room with her hands on her ears.  She only had 2 stars instead of 5 or 6 that she normally has.  She tied for the most but she didn't not get a piece of candy because she was caught saying the word "stupid".  My heart sank when I heard that.  Not that Laci said "stupid".  But because I know I use the word "stupid" way too much in front of her.  I know I set a bad example.  Obviously, I don't call her stupid but I call myself "stupid", other people and situations "stupids", etc.  Charlie and I don't swear but saying "stupid" is bad enough.  The other day I heard Laci call herself stupid. 

After her teacher told me this, I found Laci in the hallway crying.  Once Laci starts crying, it is hard to get her to stop.  We sat in some chairs in the lobby for awhile until she calmed down.  I wasn't sure how to address this with her.  She was already shaken up.  I wasn't sure if she was more upset about getting in trouble or not getting the most stars.  I told her she wasn't in trouble and she needed to calm down.  In the car on the way home, I told Laci that I needed her help in not saying the word "stupid."  She visibly got upset again.  But I didn't talk about her.  I told her that I do it too much and I need someone to help me stop.  I was hoping that she would see the connection on her own, without having to admit it.  Then I let it go for awhile.

At bedtime, I brought it up again.  This time, I reminded her that I needed help not to say bad words and that we could help each other.  It was a good reminder to me that I need to be held accountability for my own actions because they follow up and watch every word we say.  And by holding myself accountable, she is also being held accountable. 

Speaking of bad words, I realized how young they learn the "Oooohhhh, he said a bad word..."  She is always telling me about so and so in class saying a bad word.  I usually ask her what the word was and it is usually "doody butt".  That makes me chuckle because it is so innocent but I reminder that just because someone else says it, doesn't mean she should.  The other day, Charlie and I were talking and I said that "it wasn't my duty."  Laci reprimanded me and said "Oooohhh, you said a bad word.  You said "doody!".

Somedays it is just a simple goal...

It was a beautiful fall day today so I took the kids for a walk.  Laci was on her bike and I pushed Calvin in the stroller.  We have a beautiful wooded trail in our neighborhood.  On the way back, Laci was quite a bit ahead and I was hoping she remembered to stop before crossing the street.  She usually does a good job of that now.  I had images of the worst flash in my head.  I was reminded of something a friend of mine told me at her son's first birthday party, just a few months before Laci was born.  She said "Sometimes, the goal of the day is just to keep them alive."  I think a lot about all of my goals for the kids - how I want them to be as adults, their educations, their morals, their faith, how to teach them by example, etc.  But sometimes it is just a simple goal - to keep them alive to adulthood.  From what I read in the paper, we are just in the early years of that.  I think the teenage years will be a whole other ballgame!

I'm leaving home and never coming back!

After what felt like an exasperating time to get everyone ready for church, I announced that after we got home from church, I was leaving and never coming back!  I wanted Charlie to have to handle it all for a day.  Laci looked at me as serious as can be and said "Mom, you have to come back."  So I changed my mind and said that I was leaving for an hour and then coming back.  She looked at me again as serious as can be and asked "Where are you going?"  As I was about to say "Starbucks", I realized that she was really asking if she could come along.  I decided my afternoon away was never going to work out.  So here I am at home.

One Year Old Adventures

I was sitting at the bottom of the stairs today with Calvin.  My head was right next to his head.  We were looking up at the top of the stairs.  I could not believe how enormous the stairs looked.  It was like a mountain.  Sometimes it is easy to forget how big our world is to our little guy.  It reminded me that everything with him really is still an adventure!

MORE!!!

I know it is common to teach young children sign language to help communicate.  We are definitely in that difficult year where Calvin knows what he wants but it is difficult to communicate with him.  We don't understand what he is trying to say.  At school, they have taught him the sign for "more" (tapping his fingers together).  I know I should be grateful for this help but I am not so sure I am.  Now at every meal, he is constantly tapping his fingers for more, more, more!  :)  When he is hungry, he just walks around the house signing, more, more, more.  I am not sure it means "More" to Calvin.  I am starting to think it means "Give me food!"  

On the talking front, he says Ball very clearly.  I also hear him try to say Banana (his favorite food in the whole wide world!, Boon (balloon) and Up.  He has always had a very clear sign to be picked up.  It is holding his arms up but he does a little flick of his wrist to really mean up, not just holding his arms up.  He is babbling a lot so I hope that words aren't too far behind.  

Thankful for... The Beauty of Life

The other day, I was starting to think that I am unappreciative.  Charlie was telling me that his parents went out of town the other day to look at the fall leaves.  That is quite common around here.  But I have never been into just driving around.  It seems like a waste of time to me.  The other day, someone posted on Facebook something about seeing the proof of God driving through West Virginia.  It was a nice sentiment.  I have driven through West Virginia many times so I understand what he is saying.  I wanted to respond that I have never doubted God and I just need to look around my life to see His proof.  I don't need to drive anywhere.  Of course I live in flat land.  Very flat land.  Most people around here think it is too flat.  I think it is perfect.  We drive to the East Coast about once a year and hilly and mountain-y terrain gives me anxiety!  The trees in the mountains just look like broccoli to me.   

I realized that I do appreciate the beauty of nature.  It's everywhere.  I find myself the most introspective in my car driving home.  When I look around at the trees on the side of the road, I see beauty.  Even those poor trees, not in the glory of a forest or the hills and mountains are beautiful.  The changing colors and the crispness in the air feel like fall to me.  They remind me of my childhood.  There is a certain fall-ish vibe to them.  As I was thinking this, I thought about how beautiful these trees are going to look in the spring as they are budding.  I usually take a moment when I get out of the car at daycare to appreciate the small woods next to the highway.  It is beautiful.  Even though I hate the mud stains, I love that my kids get to play in the dirt.  Yesterday, I even appreciated the concrete and asphalt roads that most people overlook.  Maybe it is the engineer in me but concrete and steel is beautiful.  Look at how strong it is.  Look at this gift we have been given to build our world.  

I have mentioned before that the time with my kids playing, walking, feeding the fish at the pond in our neighborhood are some of my favorite things to do.  They are beautiful.  It is beautiful to watch them play.  Just being quiet in my own life is how I appreciate nature.  Maybe I am heartless for not wanting to drive out of my way to "appreciate" the beauty of nature.  I am too busy appreciating the beauty of my life.   

I just realized that I am sitting here listening to one of my new favorite songs "Take the Back Road" by Rodney Atkins.  I love it because it is talking about slowing down to appreciate life.  But I am still not taking the back road home!  I am rushing home as fast as I can.  Then I'll slow down.  :)    

Updates - Swimming and the Doll

Some updates on previous posts - Laci is already totally over swimming.  I had to drag her there today.  She seemed to enjoy it while she was there today.  I thought she was learning a lot and doing well.  But as soon as we left, she said she was done with swimming again.  I only have to drag her there 3 more classes. 

We have completed the doll exchange.  A new doll has been ordered.  We wanted to make sure that Laci did not see us bring the doll to school because we didn't want her to know we are giving away her doll.  And we are sure it is her doll.  I don't know if this is a coincidence or not but this teacher has been overly nice to my kids lately.