Ten years later - 9/11

I am not going to post a lot about 9/11. There is so much out there right now. We all have our own personal stories. But I have often thought about what I will tell my children about that time when they are old enough to ask. I have wanted to write and journal about my personal story but ten years later, I am still not able to. There are a few things that stand out to me that I will tell them about.

There was no laughter, no TV and no music. I have often heard people comment about the quiet due to the lack of airplanes in the air was noteworthy. I always remember the quiet. I remember thinking what it would have been like to have young children that didn't understand what was going on. Life had to go on for them. That would have been difficult. I remember how strange it was for all the "normal" to come back. I remember the first time a regular song was played on the radio days later. It would take weeks before late night TV would come back.

The images. We all have images that stand in our mind. The strong leaders. The crowds running. The smoke. The firetrucks. The image that stands out for me was the doctors waiting at the hospital for the ambulances that never came. There weren't injuries. People either made it out or they did not.

As I look back now at all of the coverage from the time, I can't help but wonder how did they get it all cleaned up? The buildings and the steel alone was a challenge. How did they move on? That they did is what makes America great.

A friend of ours daughter was born that day. He has said how strange it was to be holding his brand new baby while this tradegy was going on. I can not imagine the range of emotions they must have been feeling.

We will never forget. That became the tagline. So much is said in those 4 words. And it is as important today as ever. I was not directly affected and living where I do, I know my memories and how it changed me is so different than so many others. I am proud to be an American and I will never forget.

My family - in ten years...

We spent a few days this week with my brother and his family. It was a wonderful trip. I love spending time with them. My brother has three kids - they are now 10, 10 and 12. I was fortunate to live near them when they were young and spent a lot of time with them. I miss them very much and really enjoyed getting to spend this time with them. I love seeing the people they are becoming. They are great kids. I love watching them with my kids now and being the "big cousins."
It's fun to watch them because their family is in the "next stage". They are beyond the preschool and toddler years and are now in the "tween" years and quickly approaching the teen years. My sister in law has always been a mentor to me in many ways. I have learned a lot from her. We joked that kids problems may change as they get older but it's always something with kids and parenting.
I love watching them as a family unit. The "family unit" is so important to me. Every family is so uniquely different and special. They each have their own traditions and special moments. It's fun to learn about their family traditions - ranging from Christmas morning, going out to dinner, getting ice cream or going on vacation. The kids are old enough to know these traditions and these moments are important to them. My brother and sister in law have been married for 18 years now and have more history as their own family just the two of them and now the five of them then their own individual families. I have learned that so much of being our own "family unit" is taking a little bit of both of our individual families growing up and making our own.
I love my kids in the chaotic preschool / toddler stage we are in now and am appreciating every moment. I know that it won't last forever. After spending time with my nieces and nephew this week, I am reminded that it always just keeps getting better.

long night

Anybody have any good ideas to get kids to sleep and to sleep all night in a hotel room. I don't think any of us slept last night! I am sure the nurses conference and wedding party here loved us screaming at 6 am.

Laci's Families

Laci is really into families.  She is into the world of make believe.  She loves play sets and doll houses.  Anything she plays with is a family and anything (like a crayon) can be a person in a family.  The one that makes me chuckle the most is her toothbrushes.  She can play with toothbrushes for hours.  She will specifically ask to not take a bath with Calvin so she can play with her toothbrushes without him bothering them.  The "family" that is most precious to her is the Bear Family.  The Bear Family has been with us for over a year now.  The parents are a Bride and Groom white (now gray) stuffed animals that I got before our wedding.  They are the Mom and Dad because they are the biggest.  Beanie Babies make up the rest of the family.  My favorite member of the Bear Family is the Monkey.  I don't know why but the Monkey Beanie Baby has always been a member of the Bear family.  There is a brother bear, sister bear, little brother bear and little sister bear (they are twins) and a few other members of the family.  I have trouble keeping track of them all.  There are about 8 in all in the Bear family.  She sleeps with them every night.  There are about a total of 20 or so stuffed animals (dogs, beanie babies, Santa) on her bed at any given time.  I don't know how she fits on the bed.  Last night I accidently moved the bears to make room for her and I got in trouble for stacking them because I was going to give them bruises.  I also get in trouble when she asks me for a certain Bear and I bring the wrong one to her.  Each bear has a personality and she knows them all well.  It's her own little world.  I remember those little worlds when I was little.  I miss those worlds.  

Last night, her "family" of choice were spoons.  She kept running into the kitchen for more spoons.  I looked around the family room and saw tons of toys and then I looked over at Laci, sitting at her little table playing with a pile of spoons as if they are people.  Calvin was playing with a bowl and a wooden stick.  Why do we bother with any toys at all!

Every Sunday

This isn't about going to church every Sunday.  This is about the other thing we do every Sunday.  We clean the house.  Sounds like fun, huh.  Somehow Sunday became house cleaning day.  It's actually kind of nice.  We have it down now.  We both know our "chores".  I am a self-professed slob.  I am not neat and tidy.  I know this.  Charlie is neat and grew up in a spotless house.  I did not.  So the fact that I have a "cleaning day" is big for me.  I like having a clean house on Sunday evenings and starting the week off fresh.  Of course, by Friday the house looks like a tornado has hit it. 
During the week, I cook dinner (at least I attempt to make dinner) and Charlie is in charge of cleaning up the kitchen.  Toys rarely get picked up on a daily basis.  But the busyness of life (junk mail and toys) piles up.  Saturday is grocery day and laundry day.  Sunday is cleaning day.  When we get home from church, Calvin takes a nap and Laci has quiet time watching TV and playing.  I am in charge of cleaning the kitchen.  It's nice when everything is cleaned off the counters and put away.  I also put all the toys away and vacuum.  There is always one last load of laundry left on Sunday too.  Charlie is in charge of sweeping and moping the floors, setting the garbage out and cleaning the toilets.  I could say I don't know how our chores divided up but the simple answer is that I don't like mopping and sweeping the floor or cleaning the toilets.  Charlie is also in charge of ironing.  I call ironing the devil's work and refuse to do it. 
We laugh that cleaning with small children in the house is a wasted effort.  Sometimes I am still putting the vacuum away and Laci has dumped all the toys out of the toy box.  I also spend time putting all the toys away in the correct bins and wonder why I do that.  The kids just dump all the bins into one big pile anyway.  Charlie sweeps and mops the floor and then Monday night after dinner wonders why he bothered doing it because most of Calvin's dinner is under his high chair again. 
But there is a moment every Sunday where the house is as clean as it is going to get.  And it is nice.  There is something symbolic to it.  We are ready to start a fresh week.  The mess and craziness can all start again on Monday.

Learn to Labor and to Start

I was very blessed to have two wonderful grandmothers.  One lived with us most of my life.  I absolutely adored her and have always considered growing up with her one of the greatest gifts my parents ever gave me.  I only saw my other grandma a few times a year.  I didn't truly appreciate her, who she was and how much I am really like her until after she died a few years ago. 

My dad used to tell me a quote once that she used to use when he was growing up.  I was thinking it about it today.  My cousin was also told this quote by her father.  The quote is slightly different for both of us as I am sure my dad and my uncle remember it different from their mother.  This is from my dad:  "It is a misquote from "H.W. Longfellow's A Palm of Life. She quoted it, and I am probably misquoting her, as "Up and at it with a gay and cheerful heart, still achieving, still pursuing, learn to labor and to start".  I am just now starting to know what it all means. 

"Up and at it with a gay and cheerful heart..."  I am a morning person.  I jump out of bed each morning.  Well, maybe not jump but I am ready to start the day.  I think she was too.  And what better way to start the day then with a cheerful heart.

"Still achieving and pursuing..."  My grandma was very educated.  She didn't have a lot of formal education.  But she knew how important education was.  Learning is a life long event.  Learning is more than books and school.  The importance of education was passed down to her sons and her grandchildren.  I know I got my love of learning, my drive and my curiousity from her. 

She was definitely go-go-go, always working on something.  I like to go-go-go.  This leads to my inpatience which I probably got from her too.  My dad told me that the original quote said something about "learn to labor and to wait."  My grandma was a hard worker.  My grandma was not a wait-er.  I am not a wait-er.  I remember when I was about 12, we visited Niagara Falls.  After seeing it from every angle possible, I was ready to go.  My dad told me about his vacations as a kid.  And that I am just like his mother.  They would go somewhere, like the Grand Canyon, look at it and then move on.  That is my favorite kind of vacation.  I like to say we have vacation ADD - we cram as much stuff into 7 days as possible.  Williamsburg suggested staying for 3 days, we would good with an afternoon there.  :)

I'm proud to be just like my grandma.  I am thankful that I can share a bit of her with my children through her favorite quote.  I think she would be proud of all of us too. 

How much is too much?

That is something I see struggling with down the road.  Okay, I struggle with it now.  I am talking about activities.  How many activities are too much?  When I was growing up, I was always busy with activities - dance lessons, piano lessons, soccer teams, etc.  I didn't start to play travel soccer until junior high and I was on the high school soccer team.  I took ballet, jazz and tap classes throughout high school.  Tap was my favorite with ballet a close second.  I was busy but I wasn't super committed or great at anything. 

I haven't started Laci in much.  I know once we start "the activity train" it's hard to stop.  Plus, since she goes to daycare and preschool, she has learned how to be in a group and listen to teachers from an early age.  Right now she is taking gymnastics once a week.  She loves it.  We tried swimming lessons last winter and she did not love it.  I signed her up for a soccer season on Saturday mornings this fall.  Plus she will participate in Awana at church on Sunday evenings.  That's 3 activities for the fall.  After this session of Gymnastics she asked to take swimming lessons again.  Right now I feel like we have a good handle on it.  She has been asking for ballet lessons but I have been putting that off.  I didn't start ballet until I was 6 and I want her to have a good handle on gymnastics and that type of activity before switching over.  And I want her to try a little bit of everything.  

One of the advantage I like about most sports is that there is a set start and stop.  There is a season, usually about 8 weeks.  If she doesn't like it, she doesn't have to sign up for the next year.  One of the reasons I have been avoiding ballet is because it is a school year, starting September and continuing to May.  It's a commitment.  But it turns out gymnastics is the same way.  It just keeps going.  I can't get off the gymnastics train.  I just signed her up for another session and then realized she has been going almost continuously since April.  

I know once she gets to elementary school and junior high, decisions will need to be made.  How competitive does she need to be?  Rec sports or travel sports.  Tournements or leagues.  Competitive dance teams.  Does she need to play travel to be "good enough" for the high school team?  Will she even want to play for the high school team?  Then there is the money and the time it takes to do all of these things.  Just coordinating the two kids will be a challenge in itself.  How did my parents do it with four?  It seems like it's a different world from when I was a kid.  Or is it? 

I was talking to a co-worker recently who told me his daughter does competitive dance.  They went to Myrtle Beach this summer and took second place in Nationals.  Wow.  It sounds impressive.  They came in second to an 11 - 12 year old team.  Then he told me that she will be 7 in December.  What?!?  She is only 6 and she went to a national tournament in Myrtle Beach?

All these decisions make my head spin!  I need to keep my eye on the big picture.  Activities teach a lot of things - commitment, people part of a team, time management, setting goals, etc.  Let the kids have fun and be kids.  Let the kids have "unstructured" time.  Keep it Laci and Calvin's decision.  Push them but don't push them.  It's a tough balance.