Working Mom Pep Talk

Sometimes I have to give myself a Working Mom Pep Talk.  Being a Working Mom is hard.  I knew it would be and I was right.  As the kids get older, it is actually getting harder to be a Working Mom.  That was surprising.  But I am the worst kind of Working Mom there is.  I like being a Working Mom.  I would probably work even if I didn't "have to".  I don't feel guilty for being a Working Mom.  I feel guilty for not feeling guilty.  I was ready to go back to work.  I am a good Working Mom.

 

Don't get me wrong.  My kids are number 1.  They are ahead of my job.  They always come first.  But it's hard when I hear people talk about how much they don't want to be a working mom but have to be.  It's hard when I hear people talk about how hard it was to go back to work.  It was hard for me too.  But I never made a thing about it.  I just did it.  I couldn't put pictures of my kids in my cubicle for a year.  If I did, I would have stared at the pictures too much.  Even now, the pictures of my kids are on the side, away from my view.   I would still stare at them if they were right in front of me.  Sometimes I feel like I am being judged as being insensitive and an uncaring mom for being okay with working.  

 

My kids are good kids and they are not being hurt by having a Working Mom.  Sometimes I think they are better, stronger kids because of it.  But that may be an excuse to make myself feel better. 

 

So sometimes I just have to give myself the Working Mom Pep Talk.  I'm a good mom.  I'm a good Working Mom.  I love my kids as much if not more than any other mother out there.  And my kids know it.  That is what matters.  Not that I work.  Not whether I feel guilty or not about it.  That it's all about my kids... not me. 

Mother Daughter Nit Picking

I am currently in the middle of every parents worst nightmare - That dreaded four letter word - LICE!!!

 

The fear started a couple of days after Laci's birthday party.  The school nurse called and said that one of the girl's from Laci's birthday party had lice.  I am cursing my mom for giving me the cute craft kits for visors to do at Laci's party!  Really, hats fro 6 year olds.  Urg.  I talked to the nurse for awhile in the most inconvenient of times (Charlie and I were driving to the cemetery at his grandma's funeral) and the conclusion is that there was nothing I could do but wait.

 

Wait...  And check Laci's head.

Wait..  And check Laci's head.

Remember, I have no idea what lice look like or what I am looking for.  Every night as I look at Laci's head, I remind her that if I see anything, I will scream.  But I don't see anything.  Two weekends after Laci's party, I see a lot of head scratching.  But I don't see anything in her head.

Monday at lunch, the school nurse calls again.  It's the lice.  So I go to pick Laci up.  The main reason is to spend the afternoon going through her hair - a very time consuming process.  When I get to the school nurses office, it is a party in there.  There are 3 girls from Laci's class having a great time together.  The nurse shows me the lice and what to look for.  As predicated, I jumped and screamed a little.  Ugg. 

 

Laci and I head off to the store for nit picking supplies and spend the afternoon working on her hair.  We shampoo her head and wash all the pillow cases in the house along with Calvin's blankie and Dogs and her sleeping bag and blanket.  And then the real work starts.  I meticulously go through every strand of Laci's hair, picking up, killing and throwing out the lice and as many eggs as I see.  It was gross.  Laci sat on the floor watching spongebob.  I hate spongebob.  There weren't too many lice but that is relative.  I don't know how many a lot is.  I feel confident that I get all the lice but my confidence level is low when it comes to the eggs.  The directions are to wash the hair again in the shampoo 7 days later to get the eggs that have become lice.   

 

As soon as I am done, I shampoo and shower myself.  I just feel dirty.  I try to put my children's needs and fears first but I have long hair - my terror level over my own hair is pretty high.  Calvin also gets a shampoo Monday night.  I know he doesn't have the patience for nit picking so if I find lice in his hair, the clippers are coming out.  

 

We finished at about 4:00.  So we headed off to Barnes & Nobles to use the birthday coupon for a cookie. After that afternoon, we deserved a few minutes of downtime.

 

The more people I talk to, I have realized that nearly everyone has gone through this.  I am not alone.  As I was leaving work Monday, my coworker gave me a peptalk .  She had done it several times with her daughter when she was growing up.  

 

We are not done with this nightmare yet.  I picked a few more eggs from her head last night.  I think I will have her do an extra preventive shampoo tonight as well as Monday night and maybe next Friday.... But the one thing I will remember is that when it was done, Laci told me that she had a good afternoon with me and she was glad we got to be together.  I won't say that nitpicking is now my favorite mother/daughter activity but these days I will take what I can get and I will always have that special afternoon with my daughter in the middle of this nightmare.

Mama's Bible - Mel McDaniel

I don't know where I have been for the last 30 years but I just discovered Mel McDaniel yesterday.  I downloaded his greatest hits and found this gem.  If you aren't a fan of country music from the 80s (which apparently I am!) The lyrics are below.  This is the message I want my children to learn from me.  This is the greatest gift I can give them.  
Mama's Bible

Verse: 1 
I use to be afraid of dying when I’d think about having to go, 
now I know I’m gonna live forever mama’s bible tells me so, 
it said that just believing is the key to it all, 
and that I’m forgiven every time I fall. 

Chorus: 
Hallelujah, hallelujah, mama’s bible tells me so. 

Verse: 2 
When it rains I know he’s crying for the love of all mankind, 
and he hurts inside just like us when he’s left behind, 
but I know he is my shepherd and he’ll never walk away, 
because he gave us Jesus for a friend on judgment day. 

Verse: 3 
All I’d loved are cared for had either changed or gone, 
I reached for mama’s bible for strength to carry on, 
like my heart it gathered dust like it’s pages I was worn, 
and as to life for both of us oh Gabriel blow your horn. 

Ending: 
And I’ll trust in mama’s bible till it’s time for me to go, 
hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah.

Daddy Daughter Date Night

Saturday night was a Daddy Daughter Date night at our local Chick Fil A.  I had heard about these events and quickly signed up Laci and Charlie.  Their date almost didn't happen when Charlie was unexpectedly given two tickets to the Purdue / Notre Dame game.  He spent the day debating between going to the game or going up there to sell the tickets.  

Chick Fil A does a great job of setting up these nights.  Part of the restaurant is blocked off for the event.  The tables are set with flowers and tableclothes.  The whole purpose is to promote fathers and daughters spending time and talking together.  So the placemat is filled with discussion prompting questions and they are giving a booklet to take home to "continue the conversation" full of more discussion questions.  The dads and daughters talked about the day the girls were born and what things they enjoy doing with their dads the most.  There was a band and a balloonists.  There was even limo rides around the parking lot.  All and all it was a very sweet dinner for the two of them and I am glad they got to spend that hour together.

Calvin and I did not have that special mother / son night.  Calvin had fallen asleep after the party and I woke him up at 6:30 so he would go to bed that night.  He is a complete disaster grump when he is woken up. I made a frozen pizza and since it was such a nice night, I thought we could enjoy it outside.  I was wrong.  I finally got him calmed down enough just to take a stroller ride around the block.  This was our attempt at a special dinner.  The look on his face pretty much sums it up.  Maybe our special Chick Fil A Mother / Son Knight in the spring will go better.  

 

 

Cake... Charlie's Weakness

Cake is definitely one of Charlie's weaknesses.  It may be his only weakness.  This weekend was Laci's 6th birthday party.  We had some leftover cake.  When I went to bed Saturday night, there were at least 4 pieces left.  When I woke up Sunday morning, there were only two pieces left.  Laci asked for a piece for breakfast - after all it was her cake.  I told her not for breakfast but she could have a piece later.  As we were walking out the door to go to church, i noticed that now there was only one piece of cake left.  In light of the promise I had made to Laci earlier, this note was totally appropriate! 

 

Our Annual Family Picture - Year 9

If you don't know our family story, Charlie and I both went to Purdue.  But not together.  I joke that he didn't wait for me.  He had graduated before I started.  But Purdue has still always been a very special place for us.  We have gone to many basketball and football games through the years.  We even got engaged there at the Engineering Fountain on Valentine's Day 2004.  

I have a large family scrapbook with one page for every year.  I love that it chronicles our family and is an easy way to watch us grow in one spot.  So every September near our anniversary, we take a family picture.  Since we often go to Purdue football games, we have started a tradition of taking our family picture at the Engineer Fountain - the place where our family started years ago.  I love having that picture to watch our family grow and change. 

 

I think I need a new Purdue shirt - I am wearing the same one almost every year.  :)

 

 

I love that they get to play in the fountain that we used to run through at Purdue.  Of course, when we were there, the metal barrier was not in the middle and we could run straight through.

As we walk around Purdue, we always tell Laci about our time there - what buildings we had classes in, what dorms we lived in, why it is special to us.  When we asked her this year why the fountain was special she said "I know, I know... it's where you got married."  She is completely unimpressed already!  :)

Blue Team. Move It Out...

One of Charlie and my favorite movies is Ocean's 11... followed by the entire Ocean's 12 and 13 franchise.  It has become of those movies for us that we quote constantly and can find a quote from it for almost any occasion.

There is a scene at the end where Brad Pitt and company are the make believe squad team.  As they leave the casino, he says "Blue Team.  Move it out."  For some reason, Charlie has latched onto that phrase.  For years, as we leave the house, he says "Blue Team. Move it out."  Laci, of course thought it was based on the clothes we were wearing and would say "Dad, you can be the blue team.  I'll be the pink team.  Mom is the green team."  

This has caught on even to Calvin.  The other day, we were getting ready to go to the Purdue football game.  It was a very trying morning and Calvin had gotten up at 5:30.  Calvin and I were ready to go by 9:45.  He picked up a princess back pack and filled it full of random things - books, a baseball glove, some cars and fruit snacks.  As he was walking around the house wearing this back pack, he was saying "blue team. blue team. blue team. time to go!"  It was pretty funny.