The next lesson...

Laci's secret is out.  Although I have suspected it for awhile, Laci can read.  Whenever I asked her to sit down and try to read a few words with me, she always refused.  We play a game called "Stump Laci".  I spell simple 4 letter words and she tells me what the word is.  If she can do that, I figured she must be able to read a little.  So I asked her teacher and she responded "Of course, Laci can read."  When her teacher told her to sit down with me to read, she did.  I don't know why she doesn't do what I ask her to do but I am glad she does what her teacher asks her to do.  

Fortunately, we have a lot of level 1 and 2 Dora and Princess books handed down by my nieces.  I love older cousins!  I would like to sit down with her every night but if I can get her to sit down quietly and read with me every few days, we're doing okay.  Laci responds well to praise so I am making a big deal of reading.  She is still in the beginning stages of reading and sounding out the words.  She confuses the b and d and asks each time which it is.  I confuse d and b too sometimes so I can't blame her.  She is super slow and not fluid at all but she is doing it!  Last night, we spent half an hour on a short 10 page book.  It was painful for me.  She kept bobbing up and down and scooting around the room.  But she did it.  It was funny because every time I would just read the word to her, she would say "Mo-om, don't do that.  I'm not 2!"  Or something like that.  She is not a baby and doesn't need my help.  Laci learning to read may be my next lesson in parent patience.  Laci still has a year and a half before kindergarten.  It will be a long year and a half.  Her teachers say that she is already bored in class.  Maybe this will be a good lesson in patience and understanding for all of us.  

Some insight... or just being 4

I often wonder about the reasons Laci does the things she does.  Is she just 4 or is there a deeper meaning.  Last night, Laci slept in her bed.  Her actual bed.  Not the floor.  First she asked if could she sleep with me because my sheets are so soft.  I reminded her that she also has soft sheets on her bed.  So she decided to try her bed again.  I made the bed with her pillow at the head of the bed.  When she did sleep on the bed before, it was always with her head at the foot of the bed.  As part of her avoiding going to sleep, she decided to sleep sitting up and put her pillows on the wall to sit there.  She said "I'm a little nervous to sleep in a bed.  I have never slept on a bed before."  I reminded her that of course she has slept in a bed before!  Goof.  I asked if she wanted me to take her railing down to sleep on the bed.  She also mentioned the time she fell out of the bed at Grandma's house and this is a really high bed.  Laci's bed is a regular height bed and that happened months ago.  Is that why she has been sleeping on the floor?  I don't know but maybe.  She kept saying she was nervous.  I finally got her tucked in and left.  I came  back a few minutes later and she had moved back to the foot of the bed.  She also asked that the bathroom light be left on.  Ironically, she told me this morning that she couldn't sleep last night because the bathroom light was on.  Again, she's a goof.  But all this makes me wonder - has been sleeping on the floor because she is afraid to fall off?  Or is she just 4 and likes to try different things?  

The Circle of Stuff

As all parents know, babies and kids have stuff.  Lots and lots of stuff.  I like to try avoid stuff if at all possible.  Again, I say try because I am not very successful.  When you are pregnant with your first baby, it is all so overwhelming.  If you read "the books" and Babies R Us pamphlets, you feel like you need everything.  I tried to get by with as little baby gear as possible.  At the time, we were in a small house.  I wanted everything to be foldable or have double use.  Babies grow out of stuff so fast.  I borrowed as much stuff as I could (crib, changing table, bed).  Even now for the kids furniture, we have our old childhood dressers instead of buying new.  Instead of a baby bathtub, I used a baby bath mat for our tub.  Instead of a bouncer, I used a infant rocker that kids can use until they are 3.  Instead of setting up the pack n play downstairs to change diapers and nap, we just walked the baby upstairs and changed them there.  It wasn't very inconvenient.  Instead of a bassinet that they grow out of in 3 months, we used a pack n play in our room and then moved them to the crib in their room after 6 weeks.  But it still seems like we had tons of baby stuff.  When we moved into our house, we affectionately called the back room in our basement "the baby's room" and all the baby gear and toys would go in there as she outgrew it.  It was easy to pull out again for Calvin.  That room is now filling up again as Calvin is starting to outgrow the gear and toys.  I have been putting all the clothes they outgrow in old diaper boxes and that room also looks like a diaper warehouse.

Because of all the stuff, I have found that one of the greatest resources mothers can have is other mothers to pass stuff down to.  We are fortunate in that Laci has several older girl cousins.  They are outgrowing their stuff as Laci is moving into those toys.  A toy chest, dollhouse, princess dresses are some of the great things that have been passed down to Laci.  Charlie's nephew is 11 months older than Calvin and therefore, they share the same seasons.  Every few months, we get a new box of clothes from them.  It has been wonderful to get those clothes.  They grow out of clothes so fast that they hardly get worn out.  Clothes seem to have a 2 - 3 child lifespan to them.  One of my coworkers grandsons is 11 months younger than Calvin.  There's my person to pass to.  Every few months, I pack up some clothes and toys and pass them on to her.  Her grand-niece is the same age as Laci but smaller.  So I pack up boxes of clothes for her too.  I long for the day my kids can wear clothes longer than a season but we just aren't quite there yet.  I would much rather pass them on to someone I know than just donate them to the unknown.  

The other day I brought a big box of toys and the music table to work to pass off to my coworker.  When I got home, there was a package on my doorstep from my SIL full of clothes.  As opened the box and went through all the clothes, I couldn't help but realize that the circle of stuff continues.  

Uno

Uno is Laci's new favorite game.  Uno is the game Charlie always played as a kid with his grandparents. There was a phase when we were dating where we played a lot of Uno.  I know, we're dorks.  So it is fun to pass Uno down to Laci.  We play often in the evenings after Calvin has gone to bed.  Here are the things I love about playing Uno with Laci.

1.  She can play by herself so there are three players.  But often she wants to be on one of our teams.   We hold the cards, she lays them down.  She wants to look at all of our cards before picking teams but Charlie won't let her look at his cards. 

2.  If she is playing by herself, she makes a point to lay all of her cards out and makes sure we can all see them.  If we can't see them, she moves so we can.

3.  She has no poker face and is smiles with glee if she has a wild card.  And pouts if she doesn't.  She gets that from me.  I have absolutely no poker face and the two of us smile with glee when we are about to win.  

4.  If she wins or is on a winning team, she likes to be tickled.  This does not extend to Charlie.  I learned the hard way that he does not want to be tickled if he wins.  

5.  She loves shouting out Uno and this extends to any number of cards she has in her hand.  She will shout out "Dos", "Tres", "Cuatro"...

6.  She has no strategy.  If she does get a Wild and has four reds and one yellow, she will pick yellow.  If she plays "choose one player to draw 2" and I have 5 cards and Charlie has 1 card, she will pick me to draw 2. 

7.  I love my turn to deal because I can do the bridge when I shuffle.  Charlie can't.  It's amusing to watch him try and see the cards go everywhere.  We usually have a nice laugh.   

8.  We end on a win.  Meaning - when it is time to go to bed, we will keep playing until she wins.  

A New Day...

I don't know if it was the freshly fallen snow or what but tonight went much smoother.  I cooked dinner with Calvin in the kitchen to minimal screaming / crying.  The four of us ate dinner together.  Very little landed on the floor.  We all played in the basement.  Bathtime was smooth.  Now Calvin is going to sleep and we are getting ready for Uno.  Yeah.

Last night was a reminder that parenting is a big lesson in patience.  A lesson that sometimes I don't learn very well.  I adore my kids and it is not my kids that drive me nuts.  It's my loss of patience that disappointments me the most.  It's a daily lesson that I am constantly working on.

My three wishes... To never lose a pacifier

Well, the apple thing that I thought was so cute the other day led to a complete breakdown last night.  On my part.  I completely lost it at dinner.  I just wished for a day where my husband would be home for dinner.  That is never going to happen on a regular basis so I need to quit wishing.  My second wish is to be able to cook a dinner without Calvin on my hip or crying at my feet.  Don't get me wrong.  I like that he wants to be with me after being gone all day.  Usually I am okay with him on my hip but one handed cooking is a bit challenging.  Plus, we still have a lot of communication issues and there is a lot of screaming - sometimes by both of us.  My third wish is to be able to eat dinner without most of it landing on the floor.  Calvin is in-between sitting in a high chair or at the table in a booster seat.  I would prefer the high chair a little longer because it is a little easier to contain the messes.  He would prefer the table.  Tuesday night, there were pears everywhere.  Last night, Laci dumped her spaghetti everywhere.  She is funny about her spaghetti because she decided that she wants ketchup and shredded cheese on it instead of spaghetti sauce.  But she complained that the spaghetti didn't seem quite right.  I reminded her it was because it had ketchup on it instead of spaghetti sauce.  Fortunately, Laci was very helpful and helped clean up the spaghetti.  She is growing up.  I think she sensed I was about to lost it...  Or by that point I may have already gone nuts.  After dinner we went to play in the basement.  The apple came with.  I must admit that it was pretty cute how he pushed the apple around in the doll stroller and then put the apple in the doll high chair.  I cringed a little when he tried to shoot a basket with the apple and the basketball rim was all sticky of apple.  When he started to throw apple peel around the basement, I decided I had had enough of the apple.  We all went upstairs and the apple went in the trash.  

I just kept thinking why am I such a terrible mother?  I thought I would be good at this but I have a breakdown from three nights alone with the kids.  I'm terrible.  How do other mothers do it?  They are home all day with their kids and make it.  Husbands travel.  Mothers are home all night with their kids and make it.  By Wednesday night, I'm struggling.  This week has been harder than others - maybe it is the winter doldrums.  But I keep reminding myself that the kids will grow up.  There will be a day where I can make dinner without Calvin on my hip or screaming at my feet.  There will be a day where the kids don't drop all of their dinner on the floor.  There will be a day where Calvin can just eat an apple.  I will miss this time - but I will not miss the sticky days and the screaming.  As other mother tell me, it always continues.  The challenges are just different. 

On top of all that, I lost a pacifier.  I don't know why but I am obsessed with knowing where the pacifiers are at all time.  Maybe I associate my ability to keep track of pacifiers as being able to keep it together.  Laci used a certain type of pacifier that could only be bought online.  So I became paranoid about losing it.  I always had a count of where they were.  Calvin uses one that can be bought at the store so I have some "security" that I can always run to the store for a backup, if needed.  Plus, by now, he isn't as dependent on them.  We were down to two.  As of Tuesday night, the count went to one.  I know it is somewhere in the house.  But this lost pacifier just nags at me.  

Fortunately, Charlie came home early at 6:45 to find me near tears on the couch, Laci playing with her leappad and Calvin wandering around aimlessly with balls and toy phones.  We got Calvin to bed and after Charlie ate dinner, we all played Uno, Laci's new favorite game.  I finally found myself smiling again.  We will make it.  

Cookie Monster!!

There is nothing worse than being able to see the cookies in the oven but not being able to eat them!  He stood by the oven and cried the entire time the cookies baked.  It was even worse when he had to wait for them to cool.  

 



FINALLY!  I'm a happy boy now.