McDonalds Goodness - Full of Fruit

McDonald's and goodness don't often go together.  I don't know if these are common in other parts of the country but we are fortunate to live near two "goodness" and "faithful" McDonalds.  The first one built is "faithful".  It is a regular McDonalds - one of the modern ones with cafe sitting, a fireplace and some lounge chairs.  But there is also a giant Bible on the wall.  The "Goodness" McDonald's opened closer to us a few months ago.  Again, it is a regular McDonalds.  It even has a "wifi" bar.  But in the glass windows surrounding two of the tables where we usually sit have the Fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5) listed - Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Gentleness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Self-Control.  They don't throw the faith at you but just carefully place it around.  It's very subtle.  Whenever we eat there (more often then I should admit), I always make a point to read the Fruits of the Spirit to Laci.  I tried to memorize them all several years ago but I still usually miss one or two.  Laci actually corrected me last week and added the one I missed.  She has learned a song at school called "Self-Control" which was a good segway to our Fruits of the Spirit lesson.  Somehow in the first twenty years of my Christian education, I missed the Fruits of the Spirit completely.  I didn't learn about them at all until a Disciple Bible Study I did years ago.  I am glad that I have this subtle way to teach them to Laci.  And at what better place than her favorite spot.  

Stuck at 15

I think everyone in their own way has an age they are "stuck" at.  The age they will always think of themselves at.  Maybe it is your carefree and wild 20s.  For me, it is 15.  I think I will always have the insecurites and anxieties of a 15 year old girl.  I will always be 15 in my own head.  That is why sometimes I am so in awe when I look around at my life - my husband, my children, my house, my career.  I am a grown up - whether I feel like one or not.  

I still have those huge insecurities of how I look to others.  How am I perceived?  I have never felt like "the cool kid".  I have always felt a little bit off, a little bit on the outside.  I have gained a lot of confidence in myself in the last 20 years but sometimes those feelings of wanting to be "the cool kid" are still there.  For example, with Laci's friends mothers.  I want to be their friends.  I don't know why.  I only see them when I pick Laci up from school passing in the hallway or the occasional birthday party.  I had a playdate with one of Laci's school friends and her mom a few weeks ago.  I like this mom.  She is really nice, friendly and personable.  But I had myself all worked up about it.  It was worse than a first date!  Where we would meet, what time, who was invited, what would I wear.  Good grief.  But it went fine.  The girls got along well and the mom and I got along well.  I hope we can do it again this spring.  I love spring when we can have play dates at the park - so easy.  

One day last fall, the kids and I went for a walk.  We walked out of our house at the same time our neighbor and her kids were about to take a walk.  Suddenly I was 15 again and not sure how cool or uncool I was.  Do I invite them to walk with us?  Do we walk the other direction?  She had their dogs.  Maybe they were meeting up with someone else.  Maybe they had a mission.  I didn't want to be the annoying neighbor who pops up whenever they go outside.  So I tried to go the other way.  But Laci insisted on following and trying to catch up with them.  It was so awkward.  We were a few houses behind them the whole walk!  I was finally able to turn and we all ended up at the park together and the kids all played.  

Birthday parties are the worst.  I just want to be the cool parents that sit and chat.  Do I invite myself to talk to the other mothers.  Do I sit alone?  I usually do a bit of both.  I am not the friendliest or most outgoing person.  I try but it is hard.  The last party she was invited to I agonized over whether or not I should stay at the party.  At what age do kids just get dropped off?  The girls whose birthday it was for was just dropped off at Laci's party last fall.  Maybe the expectation was to just drop off.  I had no idea!  I told Laci that if other parents were staying, I would stay.  Otherwise, I was going to go.  It was about half and half.  So I stayed with two other parents.  Two other kids were just dropped off.  I worry about the goofiest things.  Laci was just invited to another party next month.  This is for the girl who I have labeled "the cool kid".  Her parents always seem so put together.  She and her sister show up every morning in the cutest, most coordinated outfits - usually complete with matching shoes or boots.  Their hair is perfectly curled and put up.  My children appear at school in the morning with clothes and shoes on.  That is usually a victory for me.  If their clothes match, it is just a bonus.  The stars have to align just right for their hair to be combed.  As soon as I got the invitation, I started worrying about what gift to give her.  I want to make sure we get a "cool" enough gift - nothing to babyish.  We have been to enough parties that I am starting to see what the kids are into.  I loved Laci's party because she got to try a lot of new things that she received as gifts that I may not have given her - like Barbies and craft kits.  So we will probably get her Barbies or craft kits.  I just hope it is "cool" enough.  More importantly, I hope that I just stop agonizing over these silly little details!  Laci doesn't care about this stuff at all.  She doesn't know there are "cool kids" and outcasts.  They are just all friends.  I have learned to be myself in so many aspects of my life.  I just hope friendships with other mothers is something else I can eventually get confidence in and just grow up a little bit!

A small change can make a difference

I originally started writing this blog to talk about my adventures with my kids.  I feel like the last several ones have been off topic.  Bear with me, this one will be off topic too.  But it all pertains to my life and the lessons I learn in life so I suppose it is relevant to my life as a mother because that is what I am - 100% of the time.

My husband is a big man.  Truth be told, it's one of the things that I love about him.  I know you aren't supposed to list physical characteristic when describing why you love someone because it's the man on the inside I love.  But I love that he is big.  He makes me feel protected.  As one of my friends told me once, no one will mess with me because my husband can beat him up!  Unfortunately, sometimes there is a downside to being a big man.  A couple of years ago, Charlie had a physical and they told him several of his numbers were high or borderline high - blood pressure, cholesterol, triglycerides, blood sugar, etc.  I probably would have brushed it off and said "I'll make a few changes" and really do nothing.  But this sent Charlie into a panic.  He doesn't do things half way.  He gave up everything.  He clearly can't run or work out more.  He is already doing it everyday.  He already gave up all beverages but milk and water.  He has never drank in his life.  So he gave up all sweets - candy, cookies, cake, ice cream, etc.  This is a big deal for him.  He loves that stuff.  But he gave it up cold turkey.  I don't know how he does it.  In the beginning he wouldn't even have a bite of a cookie if Laci offered it to him.  Since then he has relaxed his rules and will eat a piece of cake for a birthday and maybe a bite of brownie if I make them.  But that is about it.  He rapidly dropped about 25 lbs and since plateaued out. 

He finally went back for a physical last week.  He has been dreading it.  He went to see our family doctor since his previous doctor moved.  Our doctor is pretty laid back and a "wait and see" guy.  This is a good fit for Charlie.  He has gotten to know him from all of the appointments with the kids.  He got his numbers back and everything went down - dramatically!  His triglycerides were more than cut in half.  His cholesterol was cut back a third.  His blood sugar was about the same.  The doctor reminded him that an occasional glass of red wine is okay but since Charlie doesn't drink, he joked that he wasn't telling him to start drinking!  I was very proud of Charlie.  I don't mean to sound like an ad but it's amazing what a little thing like dropping a little weight really can make a big difference. 

Calvin's Chores

True, he's 1 1/2 so Calvin really doesn't have official chores.  But he does love cleaning!  If he sees a broom, try to keep him away!  I know that it is a phase he will grow out of.  Toddlers love helping and cleaning.  Kids do not.  Maybe Calvin will the one kid that loves cleaning!  I know I hate it so if I can pawn these chores off on my kids, I will be one happy mama!

Calvin empties the dishwasher. 
He doesn't do a great job at putting it away correctly.
But he tries.  After a plate broke, he is now only
allowed to put away the plastic stuff.

Sweeping with Daddy

This kid loves his mop! 
He even takes it for a ride in the stroller.



So excited to receive new clothes from a cousin.
He carefully looked at every outfit.



Not really a chore but he loves coloring now.

Doing the laundry and taking the clothes out of the hamper.
He also can put the clothes in the washer / dryer.

Lessons from my dad

I have written a lot about the people I admire.  I am so fortunate to have so many in my family - my brother, my sister, my grandmas.  Recently I was thinking of my dad and how important he is to me.  Charlie looks up to his dad a lot and turns to him for advice often.  I don't go to my dad very much for advice.  I was feeling bad about that recently - that I don't turn to my parents for help.  But then I realized why I don't turn to my parents for help.  They have already given me all the help I need.  I started thinking about everything that my dad has taught me and more importantly how he has taught me these lessons.  My dad is a very quiet man.  He has taught me his wisdom through his quietness.  He has given me three pieces of advice over the years that have stuck with me and it is this advice I have always turned to when I have a decision to make.

1.  In high school when I was picking a college and a major - I was trying to decide between the school of technology and the school of engineering.  He told me that I was smart enough for engineering.  I shouldn't sell myself short and there would be more opportunities for me with an engineering degree than a technology degree.  He was right.  I now have my P.E. (professional engineering) license and I am very proud of it.  Lesson: Shoot for the stars - always go for the challenge.  Don't take the easy way out.

2.  In college, I broke up with a guy I had been dating several months.  I didn't date a lot and this was one of the few boyfriends I had.  I broke up with him right before spring break.  I remember being broken hearted at home that week.  Finally my dad said something along the lines of "he wasn't all that great anyway".  Lesson: Get Over It.  Don't dwell on it. 

3.  When I graduated, I had several job options in several different cities.  I remember being home at spring break, taking a walk with him and discussing the two of the offers.  Finally he said "Why do you keep talking about it?  You already know what you are going to do.  You don't want to leave her."  "Her" was my new baby niece.  One of my job offers was near my new baby niece and I didn't want too far away.  I wanted to be near her to visit her when I could.  Lesson: Trust your gut.... and move on.  Don't dwell.  Your instincts are good and will lead you far.  Second lesson: Always choose family.  I'm so glad I chose where I did...  It lead to Charlie and my own family.  

My dad is a very quiet, humble man.  I love that about him.  He never talks about his accomplishments.  He has done some great things.  So many of them I wouldn't even know about and I just stumbled on them from my mom.  I learn humility from him.  Humility is a hard lesson to teach.  Right now I spend so much time praising Laci to build up her self confidence that sometimes I am afraid we go overboard and she will be too braggy or boastful.  

My dad's confidence is in his faith.  He is never vocal about it.  But I know his faith is what leads him.  His faith is what allows his gut instinct to be right.  My dad has been a great role model for me - as a person and especially as a parent.  I can only hope that I can teach my children these lessons too as simply as he did. 

Ruby Bridges

The daycare is closed on Monday so we decided to do something fun for the long weekend.  Today we went to the Children's Museum.  It's hard to work in outings with Calvin's naptime smack in the middle of the day but we decided to go at 10 when they open and see how long he does.  He did fine but Laci tuckered out and lost it at 1:00.  But overall we had a good time.

We have been to the Museum several times.  Laci has several favorite spots and we hit them all today.  The "Children who Made a Difference" exhibit really hit me today.  I didn't get a chance to spent a lot of time in that display as Laci and I were dashing through but I did realize what her story was.  She was the first black child integrated into a white elementary school in 1960 in LA.  The reason why this story hit me like it did is because of Laci.  Some of her best friends at school are black.  I was suddenly so grateful that children like Ruby Bridges did what they did, even though it wasn't easy.  I can't imagine a world where they couldn't be in her class or be her friends.  And I am so glad I never have to... Thanks to so many people like Ruby Bridges, her family, her teacher and her school.

Valentine's Day Gifts

Last year, as he often does for gifts, Charlie got me a DVD for Valentine's Day.  It happened to be the DVD of a movie we saw in the movie theater.  As you can imagine, we do not see very many movies at the movie theater right now.  It wasn't until I pointed it out later that he realized what a terrible gift that was.  I choose to look at it as a man who is very comfortable in his marriage.  He gave me "The Break-Up"!  

So this year he vowed to top himself and correct the error.  He got me the movie "My One and Only".  Good job, Charlie!