A Wedding - The Reception.... Time to Party!

I just realized that I never wrote the final part of my wedding recap.  The Reception.

I was really looking forward to the reception or "The Party" as I told the kids.  I knew we would have fun.  I promised dancing.  I promised cake.  I know now that going to receptions with kids is completely different.  Priorities are different.  Timing is different.  There is a lot of waiting around at receptions.  Receptions are still about the bride and groom, not the guest.  Without kids, waiting is no big deal.  Drinking, dancing and having fun. 

About 10 years ago, Charlie and I went to a wedding with a friend of ours.  He had plans to go out after the reception.  There was a lot of waiting around.  Our friend said "They better get this show on the road.  I have places to be."  To this day, that is one of our favorite lines.  Wedding receptions are not about the guests.  The bride and groom didn't care about our friends plans for later.  There were many times during this wedding reception that I wanted to say "They better get this show on the road.  I need to get my kids home!"  But after mocking our friend for so many years, I couldn't say the same thing.  :)

The reception started fine.  There was the waiting outside the dining room with drinks and hor derves.  Of course my kids didn't want any of it.  I always bring a bowl of cereal or snacks in the kids bag so we were covered.  The reception was at a golf course so they went outside for a bit.  Laci spilled her orange juice and I was hoping that would be the only catastrophe.  I was wrong.  I was in the lobby chatting with the bride's mother when I turned and the bag knocked over a glass frame on an easel!  I was mortified.  The worse part was that I couldn't even blame the kids.  It was my fault. 

By 7:30 we were finally in the dining room.  Fortunately, at our table was just the 4 of us and some good friends of ours.  They were wise to serve the kids first - fruit, chicken fingers and fries.  During the dinner, we were good to go.  But as we all know, there is a lot of waiting at receptions.  I promised the kids dancing and cake.  It was getting close to 9 and we had had neither.  "They better get this show on the road!"  The kids were getting antsy.  We were taking trips to the bathroom and hanging out in the lobby.  There were family pictures, toasts, bouquets to be throw.  This wedding was not about us and the bride and groom needs to enjoy every minute of it.  But by 9:30 after the special dances were done, it was finally time to get down and boogie.  Laci was ready.  Calvin was about to fall over he was so tired.  We only stayed for little longer but Laci got to dance a few dances.  I made Calvin dance - I had to hold him because he was too tired to stand.  And by 10:00 we were out of there.  Pajamas were put on in the car and the kids were asleep by the time we were out of the parking lot.  All in all, it was a great reception.  We had a wonderful time.  I am very happy for the bride and groom and wish them lots of happiness.  

A wedding... The vows

Sometimes it seems like the wedding ceremony is glossed over in the wedding preparations.  But the wedding ceremony is the most important part.  As our photography called it "the good stuff". 

I think going to weddings should be required of all married people.  Go to as many weddings as you can. Crash the ceremonies if you have to.  When we were first married, we would go to weddings and remember our own.  The anticipation.  Walking down the aisle... The reception afterwards. 

Yesterday was different.  We have been married for almost 9 years now.  It seemed cliché at the time when everyone would talking about "the good times and the bad times".  When you are first married, it is the good times.  You can't imagine the "bad times".  We have been married long enough to have some bumps in the road... little ones and big ones.  I couldn't have imagined at the time the journey we would go through and are still on.  But even though the most difficult times, I know that I am married to the right person and that the tough times are times that you get through - they aren't about the person you married.

A wise women once said that when she was going through some tough times with her husband she would watch her wedding video.  Not to remember the love of that moment and the vows she said to her husband but to remember the vows she said to God.  The covenant she made was not only to her husband but also to God.

As we are going through "the tough times", I needed to see a wedding.  I needed to see that hope and to renew our vows with each other.  I don't think watching our wedding video would have had the impact of the vows that being in the middle of the wedding had for me.  I loved explaining all the traditions to Laci, especially the unity candle.  I love the unity candle and how it represents her family, his family and their new family newly created.  I keep my unity candle on my kitchen sink.  I can't think of a better place to keep it than right in the most used place in my house.  It is burned way down.  My mom offered to replace it with a new one.  I said no.  That burned down unity candle was at our wedding and is a daily reminder of our wedding and our vows, just like our rings. 

I wasn't sure why we were invited to the wedding.  We hadn't seen her in several years.  I would like to think I had bigger impact on her than I thought when she was a teenager.  But I really think that we were invited to that wedding because God knew that I needed to be at a wedding this summer.  He knew that I needed to experience that all again. 

Charlie pointed out the best line the pastor said at the wedding yesterday.... "Make sure that today is the day you love each other least."  I think that says it all.

A wedding.... The Anticipation

We're going to a wedding this afternoon.  I am super excited.  I love weddings.  The celebration.  The love.  The hope.  The dresses.  The food.  The dancing.  The magic.  This is the first wedding we have taken the kids too.  I am really excited for them to experience that all too, if even in a child-like sense.  I hope Laci feels that magic too and sees the princess in the bride.

Whenever I go to a wedding, I start preparing days before.  I start remembering my wedding and the magic around it.  The rehearsal dinner.  The family coming into day.  Getting nails done.  Luncheons.  It's all part of the ritual and the magic.  I wake up that morning and remember the jitters I felt.  I remember getting my hair done.  Having my friends over for breakfast.  The special moment with my mom as she gave me her last minute gifts.... special gifts from my grandma and special things she had been saving for me my whole life for that day.  I remember waiting to go to the church being so nervous that my friend that was with me get giving me wedding presents to open! Nothing calms nerves like opening salt and peppers shakers.

I hope that Jillian is experiencing that magic right now.  I coached Jillian on my soccer team when she was a teenager and am really looking forward to seeing the young woman and now wife she has become.  I pray that for her today is not about a day but the start of their marriage and their life together.

Visions of the past...

Calvin recently turned 3.  I have come to realize that 3 is a hard age for mothers, especially when it is her "baby" turning 3.  He is no longer a baby.  He is making the transition to "big boy".  He calls himself a "big boy" now.  He has a new room and a new bed.  No more crib.  No more changing table.  He drinks from a cup, no more lid.  Soon, he will be done with diapers and pull ups.  He gave up his pacifier by himself when he moved into the crib.  

When I look at Calvin, this is what I see.  Visions of the past.  

 

He was the most serious baby ever.  He is still pertty serious but finally laughs!

My baby!

 

I have to remind myself that this is what the rest of the world sees. 

 

He requested a spider man cake - even though he knows nothing about spider man. 
He got lots of spider man toys for his birthday!

He still demands to be carried more than he should be.  He's too old to be carried.  But he is my baby and he won't be carried forever.  Plus, it keeps me strong and my arms in great shape! 

My Elbow...

I never think about my elbow.  But my elbow fascinates Laci.  That little flap of skin that appears when I straighten my arm.  When we lay in bed and watch TV at night, she plays with that little flap.  It's like when people twirl their hair.  She plays with my elbow.  I have a scar on one elbow from when I was 4 years old and fell backwards off a picnic table onto a patio.  My elbow has history.  I feel like there should be a deep metaphor about the example I need to set because my daughter sees all of me, not just the parts I think about or know.  She sees all of me - my good parts and my faults.  My face that I show the world and my elbow that is never seen or looked at by anyone but her.  Maybe there is a deep metaphor and lesson in there.  Or maybe she just likes to play with that little flap of skin on my elbow.  

Feeling Strong!

Running makes me feel strong.  When I have a good run, I feel strong the rest of the day.  Strong is about the best word I can use to describe it.  Sore, but strong.  I signed up again for the CarmelFest 4.5 miles.  I feel like I am where I was at when I ran it last year.  And that was a disaster.  I am trying to feel more confident and the weather looks better for this run.  Last Monday morning, I signed up for the run.  Then at lunch, I didn't get the good treadmill and had a terrible run.  I only ran 3.3 miles, not my usual 4.5 miles.  Wednesday wasn't any better.  I forced myself to run 4 miles.  I wanted to redeem myself Friday but forgot my running clothes.  Sometimes a lunchtime walk does as much good as a good run.  Only 4 more days until the big CarmelFest run.  Today I got the magic treadmill.  And the magic was there.  I ran 4.55 miles in 38 minutes.  I have confident once again that I can run 40 minutes on Thursday.  And if not, at least I will have run 4.5 miles.  This afternoon, I felt strong.  I like to feel strong.  It's a good feeling.

I give because I am a Mother

I gave blood this morning.  My arm hurt more than usually today as i was giving blood.  It hurts more an usual now.  As I was sitting on the chair with my arm hurting, I thought about why I give blood.  I give blood because I am a mother.  No real specific reason.  I don't give to give back because we once needed it.  My family doesn't have any health problems that have ever needed blood.  None of us have ever been on the receiving end of a blood transfusion.  I pay it forward and pray that none of us ever need it in the future.  

The real reason I give blood is to set an example for my daughter.  It's an easy way to give and give back.  My mother always gave blood and donates regularly.  She was the example for me.  I don't know if Laci or Calvin will ever donate blood.  But they know that I donate blood regularly.  I hope that I am setting the example for them.

I gave blood today... because my mother taught me that it is the right and easy thing to do.