Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Wanted: Grandparents

My kids need some more grandparents.  Not to replace the ones they have but in addition to them.  My kids have great grandparents that love them.  But my parents are 200 miles away and my in-laws are 90 miles away.  Most of the time, I love the distance between me and my parents and in-laws.  For day to day stuff, it's great.  I have always prided myself that we can do this on our own without anyone nearby.  Most of the time that is true.  But my kids need more.  My kids needs grandparents nearby.  Or maybe I just need help.  I wish my parents would visit more.  I never thought I would say that.  I found when I was in college that 8 weeks was about my limit before I missed family.  That is more true now.  I had such a close relationship with my grandma and I want that for my kids too. 

The cliche is true - "It takes a village" to raise a child.  One parent, not even two parents can do it alone.  I keep having the idea that my kids need some local adopted grandparents.  I am not sure what I want from these grandparents.  Maybe I just need some more people to love my kids.  Calvin was home this week for Hand, Foot, Mouth disease.  Charlie and I are taking turns staying with him.  It's hard to coordinate with work and stuff.  I would love to be able to call someone and ask for help.  My in-laws are busy this week and are already coming Saturday night to babysit.  My mom still works and my dad is busy with clubs and has a meeting Thursday night.  I started thinking about my friends that are stay-at-home moms to help but they all have small children and I don't want to expose their kids to this either.  

I have a few people in mind to be their adopted grandparents but I am not sure how to ask.  "Would you like two more grandkids?"  They all have their own local grandchildren.  Maybe they don't need two more.  Most people still work so I don't want to depend on them for babysitting tasks.  But it would nice to know they are there if we need them.  It would be nice to have someone near by to have watch the kids occasionally so we could go to dinner.  Or this week to come over for a couple of hours to help.  Although we have a teenage neighbor we can use now so at least we have the option to go to dinner.  I think I just want some more people to love my kids.  Some more people that my kids can love.  At church, someone that they can run over to hug and eat a donut with them.  Someone that can look over Charlie and I too.  Most importantly, people that can look over us that aren't our parents.  Our parents are too close and have too much invested.  We need people to objectively look over us and love us for who we are now - not the children we were and will always be to our parents.  

I read a lot of message boards online (I don't know why) about the arguments for and against daycare.  So many posts talk about how they would prefer family to watch their kids during the day instead of a daycare or sitter.  No one else can take care of or love their children like they can, right?  I don't agree.  The ladies at my kids daycare love my kids as much as I do.  They want the best for them too.  I know that the more people that love my kids, the better off my kids will be.  I think relationships like I am looking for just evolve.  They can't be planned or forced.  So I will just keep my eyes out for some local grandparents for my kids.  Hopefully something will evolve for us all. 

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