Thursday, June 9, 2011

"Baby, I'm a Star"

"Baby I'm a Star" by Prince has always been my theme song.  It's always giving me the confidence to be who I am.  I don't know how the world perceives me.  But I have always felt like I beat to my own drum, just a bit.  Not enough to deem me odd, but just enough.  My mom tells the story about when I was 7 or 8, I declared that I had a different attitude than everyone else.  I think that was my way of saying I was just a little bit different and that is okay.  I like the line "Might not know it now, but baby, I'm a star."  I always felt that I judge my own success not the same as the rest of the world's.  And in my world, I'm the star of my own show.  I have had a lot of ups and downs and shakes in my confidence - in high school, college, the work place, etc.  But my theme song reminds me that I will be and am successful, if not by the world's standards, my own.  And I think that has worked for me.  For the most part, I feel comfortable being who I am and I don't want to conform.  Fortunately, who I am fits in the world pretty nicely.  One of my friends once told me that in college I grew into myself.  I took that as a compliment.  

One of my dreams for Laci is that she has this same self-confidence.  I don't want her to conform to the world or be someone she is not.  Don't get me wrong - I want her to behave in the world, be polite, know right from wrong, etc.  I don't know how to teach her this self-confidence, this bit of gumption.  That is one of the challenges I face as a parent.  My theme song for her as always been "Shining Star" by Earth, Wind and Fire.  'You're a shining star, no matter who you are.  Shining bright to see what you can truly be".  She is a star.  And I want everyone to know it.    

I don't know what Laci and Calvin's theme song will ultimately be.  But I want them to have one.  I want them to beat to their own drum just a little bit and to be confident in themselves and who they are.  I don't necessarily want them to be exactly like us.  That is one of the reasons I was thrilled that Laci came out a redhead.  I was sure she would be blond like I was as a baby and then eventually turn brunette.  She may eventually still turn out to be a brunette.  But right now she is a beautiful strawberry blond.  Just a little different than a typical blond or brunette.  A few weeks ago, she wore two different shoes to church - and a fuzzy winter cap in April.  It was great.  There were lots of smiles when we arrived at church.  I loved it.   I hope that she always wants to beat just a little bit to her own drum and smile doing it. 

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