"Baby I'm a Star" by Prince has always been my theme song. It's always giving me the confidence to be who I am. I don't know how the world perceives me. But I have always felt like I beat to my own drum, just a bit. Not enough to deem me odd, but just enough. My mom tells the story about when I was 7 or 8, I declared that I had a different attitude than everyone else. I think that was my way of saying I was just a little bit different and that is okay. I like the line "Might not know it now, but baby, I'm a star." I always felt that I judge my own success not the same as the rest of the world's. And in my world, I'm the star of my own show. I have had a lot of ups and downs and shakes in my confidence - in high school, college, the work place, etc. But my theme song reminds me that I will be and am successful, if not by the world's standards, my own. And I think that has worked for me. For the most part, I feel comfortable being who I am and I don't want to conform. Fortunately, who I am fits in the world pretty nicely. One of my friends once told me that in college I grew into myself. I took that as a compliment.
One of my dreams for Laci is that she has this same self-confidence. I don't want her to conform to the world or be someone she is not. Don't get me wrong - I want her to behave in the world, be polite, know right from wrong, etc. I don't know how to teach her this self-confidence, this bit of gumption. That is one of the challenges I face as a parent. My theme song for her as always been "Shining Star" by Earth, Wind and Fire. 'You're a shining star, no matter who you are. Shining bright to see what you can truly be". She is a star. And I want everyone to know it.
I don't know what Laci and Calvin's theme song will ultimately be. But I want them to have one. I want them to beat to their own drum just a little bit and to be confident in themselves and who they are. I don't necessarily want them to be exactly like us. That is one of the reasons I was thrilled that Laci came out a redhead. I was sure she would be blond like I was as a baby and then eventually turn brunette. She may eventually still turn out to be a brunette. But right now she is a beautiful strawberry blond. Just a little different than a typical blond or brunette. A few weeks ago, she wore two different shoes to church - and a fuzzy winter cap in April. It was great. There were lots of smiles when we arrived at church. I loved it. I hope that she always wants to beat just a little bit to her own drum and smile doing it.