One of the things I will not blog about is bedtime. Bedtime is a struggle at my house for Laci and me. Right or wrong, I have often found myself rocking Laci at bedtime or sitting in the chair while she falls asleep. It is in the quiet. No lights. No radio. No TV. No books. No internet. No Facebook. So often in this hustle and bustle world, we rarely found ourselves in the quiet. We fill the silence with the radio or the TV. We surf the internet. Even if I am doing something else, I often have the TV on for background noise. The radio is always on in the car. I even find myself falling asleep to the radio or TV. Sitting in the quiet is hard. It can be a challenge. To be alone with our thoughts. To be alone with ourselves. To slow down. I use this time in Laci's room to think. To plan. To pray. To grow. I challenge myself to be in the quiet.
When I think back in my life, I feel like I grew the most between the ages of 22 - 26. This is when I was first "out on my own" and before I was married. I lived alone. I spent time alone. I spent time in the quiet. I sat on my porch sometimes just to sit. It was in this quiet time that I grew. Looking back, this was a very special time for me and a time that I will always be thankful for.
I find myself at many crossroads again right now. I am going through many challenges. With my family. With myself. But I am not alone now. I am never alone. I am constantly pulled in so many directions. And when I am alone, I fill the silence with the radio in the car. I feel like this is a time when I need that quiet again. I need to grow now. I need to pray more. I need to slow down. I need to listen to the quiet. While I wish bedtime were better, I am thankful for the time it has given me to slow down. The time to grow. The time to sit in the quiet. The time to listen.