Friday, April 15, 2011

Children's friendship and a Birthday Party

At school, Laci's class made friendship bracelets.  It was a little leather strap bracelet with beads that spell FRIENDS.  Very cute.  Right now, Laci is all about "best friends".  Everyone is her "best friend".  Except the boys.  I am usually her "best friend".  Yesterday, everyone in town was her best friend.  If she is mad at me, she will declare that I am no longer her "best friend".  I was talking to her teacher about the bracelets.  She told me that the "best friend" thing has gotten out of hand, especially with the girls.  They will constantly tell each other that they are "best friends" and then if someone does something a girl doesn't like, she will declare that that girl is no longer her best friend.  So they had to have a long talk about friendship and how they are all friends.  A good lesson.  But it is crazy that this silly girl drama happens wtih 3 year olds!  It got me thinking about what I want Laci to be, in relation to friends and other kids.  When I go to birthday parties, I am always watching her with the kids.  Do they interact well?  Do they include her?  She talks about her friends all the time but do they feel the same way about her? Then I start thinking about whether I want her to be "popular" or beating to her own drum.  I want her to be liked.  I want her to have friends.  I want her to beat to her own drum and have the self confidence to do that.  But how do I help her if she doesn't have many friends or if she does have social issues with the other kids?  And what kind of mom do I want to be?  The "cool" mom?  The mom in the background?  Does it really matter what I think?  Isn't this really about her?
Laci has a little friend that I know is having a birthday party soon.  Laci isn't invited.  That is okay.  I am not complaining that she isn't invited.  But I do wonder how I will handle this when Laci realizes this.  Laci frequently calls A her "best friend".  Tonight she asked me if she could go to A's birthday party.  I calmly explained that she wasn't invited.  She asked if she could ask A if she could come.  I still wasn't sure what I say so I quickly changed subjects. 

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