Tuesday, May 3, 2011

More questions...

I don't have any answers just yet.  I may never have answers.  But I have lots of questions.  Is it a nature vs. nuture thing?  How do we raise siblings together?  We are raising our children the same way or so we think.  I know families where the children are very similar.  And families where the two children are complete opposites.  How can they be so different when they have the same parents teaching them the same things at the same time.  Or are they?  I see families where one child is fighting for attention of the parents and the attention all goes to the other child. We all love our children equally, right?  Yes, we love them equally.  I am sure no one will admit it outloud but there are favorites.  Favorites is the wrong word.  They may favor one because they have more in common with that one.  They may spend more time with that one.  How does it affect the other one?  Is there any way to measure that?  Is that why children "rebel"?  

Do we treat our children all the same?  I don't think we necessarily should.  Things don't have to be "fair".  But how do we do it in such a way that it doesn't show favoritism but teaches patience and that "life isn't fair".  Plus all children are so different that the way we treat one child will not work for the other way.  Our children are unique and individual.  We need to tailor our parenting to our child.  But we all live in the same world and we have to learn to live in this world together.  

Can we look back and identify this as adults?  Or can we identify it as we are going through it?  I think back to my own childhood with my siblings.  I always thought my parents favored the older two.  But if you ask them, they say they felt like our parents favored the younger two.  It's all preception.  That's enough for now.  We're all just doing the best we can.  No answers...  Just questions. 

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